Weekend Musings

Some would consider me a “stupid intellectual”.  There is no way Mensa would consider me.  But I tend to lean that way.  Consider my favorite music – Yes, Rush, Dream Theater, Pink Floyd…  The music that appeals to me appeals to my intellect.  But my movies lean the other way.  I like “Strange Brew”, the original “Batman” from 1964 and “Blazing Saddles”.  There is no better time than sitting down with a campy movie.

I find this stupid intellectualism invades every aspect of my life.  It invades the conversations I have with my wife.  Deep, rich conversations about our relationship are interrupted by sudden injections of bathroom humor.  I was discussing my latest infraction with a police office under flashing lights when poorly-timed jokes appeared.

Perhaps the craziest is when I read my bible.  I’m sorry, but the bible is full of hilarity!  Some of the more somber members of my faith would disagree.  But it’s true!  Rather than fight it, I just gave in.  Here are a few samples.

Throughout the Exodus, God introduced Himself as the God who led His people out of Egypt.  God led His people out of Egypt.  But His people decided to create an idol – a golden calf – to represent their god.  The One True God did not like that.

Then the LORD said to Moses, “Go down, because your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt.  They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. They have bowed down to it and sacrificed to it and have said, ‘These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.’

“I have seen these people,” the LORD said to Moses, “and they are a stiff-necked people.  Now leave me alone so that my anger may burn against them and that I may destroy them. Then I will make you into a great nation.” – Exodus 32:7-10, NIV

Translation – “They’re not My people anymore.  They’re your people that you led out of Egypt.  Stay out of my way so I can kill ’em all!”  I think that’s one of the funnier things God ever said!

But the funniest was yet to come!  Moses interceded on behalf of the people he had just inherited, and God relented on his decision to kill ’em all.  Moses walked down the mountain, carrying two tablets on which the finger of God had just carved the ten commandments.  When he got there and saw all the drunken revelry surrounding this idol, he smashed the stone tablets.

“Aaron, what’s going on?  Where did this calf come from?”

“Do not be angry, my lord,” Aaron answered. “You know how prone these people are to evil. 23 They said to me, ‘Make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.’ 24 So I told them, ‘Whoever has any gold jewelry, take it off.’ Then they gave me the gold, and I threw it into the fire, and out came this calf!” – Exodus 32:22-24, NIV

Translation: “Hey, Moses, it ain’t my fault.  Those people are evil!  I put the gold into the fire and the calf came out!”

Have your kids ever told you that?  I know mine have.  Something is broken.  There are three people in the house, me and the two kids.  “What happened here,” I ask.  And neither of them know.  It just fell on its own.  Kinda frustrating when it’s your kids, but when a grown adult – the leader of the priests of the nation of Israel – says it, it’s funny and sad all at the same time.  In fact, I dare say this is the funniest thing in the whole bible.

How many times did Jesus say his disciples are dense?

How many stupid things did Samson or David do?

And what about Balaam’s talking donkey?

Next time you read scripture, look for something humorous.  I’m sure you’ll find it.

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